What do you tell your children when your relationship ends?

Dealing with your own emotions at the end of a relationship can be tough enough but how do you help your children through the pain and upheaval of separation?

Are you and your partner able to sit down together and talk to your children about what’s going to happen? Do you know what’s going to happen? Would one of you rather talk to your children alone? What will you say to them? Can you and your partner agree what you will say?

There are no sections on the court forms for this type of discussion and yes, these issues can be tough to talk about. So tough, both of you may decide to engage solicitors to do the talking for you.

How will that work in the long term? You might find that you have spent your children’s university fund by the time you realise that any level of communication you and your partner did manage is now virtually extinct.

You will always be your children’s parents. Don’t you owe it to them to find a way to talk about the important issues as parents and to decide together as parents what you want for your children?

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At Focus we can help you both talk through these difficult issues – and in many cases if you and your children want, we can also talk to your children in confidence about their thoughts, wishes and feelings.  It won’t be easy for either of you, but at the end of it we hope that you will have reached an agreement that you both feel works for you and most importantly your children.

You may never be friends in the future, but whilst your children are growing up and need you both, we can help you to put a workable arrangement in place that will keep you talking through the pain of the separation and into the future.
For your children’s sake.

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