F.O.M.O.

I had a dream last night – all my friends, yes every single one, were invited to a big party … but I wasn’t!  I was the only one who hadn’t got an invite – and worse than that it was taking place next door so I could both hear and see all the frivolity!  It felt rubbish – and I was relieved to wake up with the knowledge it wasn’t real and my Christmas party invites were still on the mantelpiece.  Phew!

Fear of Missing Out Focus Mediation Blog

Sounds silly perhaps (didn’t feel it!) – but we live now in a world of FOMO … Fear Of Missing Out!  Social Media creeps into the home at every opportunity if you let it – and in so doing brings our friends’ happy pictures, anecdotes, one liners, ‘likes’ and so on into our home – a world that’s typically having a great time. That’s cool when you’re high in spirit but not so good when you feel like you’re in the washing machine on fast spin!

F.O.M.O. + Relationship Breakdown

The breakdown of a relationship, whether recent or past, can rev that spin to top notch – the really mean thing is that not only are you having to deal with a huge bag of emotions (cue the grief cycle..) but you also suddenly have to put your financial head on and, if you have children, become a chameleon to hide the hurt you feel and protect them and their emotions – that’s hard….

…and then there’s FOMO – a new angle on it that you haven’t felt before – house/cash/pension/income – how are you going to manage? – What if you are ‘fleeced’? – Where do you start? – What if you MISS OUT?  The panic questions are endless.  Okay – let’s just call it ‘Fear’!

F.O.M.O. & our children

FOMO doesn’t just apply to you though.  Children feel all sorts of emotions when their parents separate including self-blame and a desire to make sure everyone is OK – they can become the proverbial ‘piggy in the middle’ no matter how hard you may try to stop it happening, as this may be their perception – they have their own fear of missing out.  You can help them deal with this through the forging of a ‘parental alliance’.  It’s not always easy for parents to do; but if parents are unified then that aids a solid foundation for their children’s new life.

Mediation is great at keeping communication alive and aiding transparency.  It brings out real feelings in a protected setting and helps to prevent distortion and slow down the spin.  Fears are brought to the surface as are needs and ‘wants’ – they can be discussed, balanced, questioned and addressed, so allowing you to move forward – whether in relation to finances, children or both.  In so doing you are increasingly moving away from that starting point of fear, FOMO.

Call us on 01908 231132 or Email: info@focus-mediation.co.uk for further information or to book a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) (10 Locations – Milton Keynes, Bedford, Hemel Hempstead, London , Northampton, Oxford, Potters Bar, St Albans, Harrow and Watford). Read more about family mediation (including our client testimonials) at  www.focus-mediation.co.uk 

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