Monthly Archives: April 2018

Squirrels Can’t Undo Safety pins – and they get the nuts whatever you do!

Ok it’s my turn to write the blog and all I can think about is the wretched squirrels! They have now penetrated two squirrel-proof bird-feeders in the garden. They can undo wire bags ties holding the lid down, they can chew through the string tying it down. When they failed to undo the safety pin holding the lid down, (my genius solution) they simply jiggled the whole thing until they broke the bottom and got the nuts that way. Squirrels one, Mary zero.

Squirrels Focus Mediation Blog

So I bought another squirrel proof birdfeeder. This one was really clever and I watched smugly as they attacked it in every way imaginable. The top screwed into the bottom – they could not undo that screw and separate the top and bottom, it had a very long thread, they could not get the nuts. The birds came, the tits (blue, great and coal), gold finches, the robin, sparrows, even a lesser spotted woodpecker. The crows gave up. The squirrels didn’t. I watched them come back again and again until one morning the top of the squirrel proof bird feeder was hanging there and the bottom and all the nuts in it, was on the ground. At least the bottom was, the nuts had gone. Squirrels two, Mary zero.

So how did they do it? The only answer must be they worked out they had to unscrew the top from the bottom and like acrobats in a circus they made that top spin around so unscrewing the top. I have this picture of them, tails behind in the wind, spinning around with the feeder lid until – Success! The feeder top is unscrewed and it splits in two and the prize of nuts is revealed on the ground, along with the bottom of the bird-feeder.

So what conceivable lesson is there for mediators or conflict resolution in this story of my squirrels (who are by the way enormous – fat, like overfed cats). Several actually, and anyway it’s a good story. So here are my conclusions – learned from my squirrels:

  • Never give up. However unlikely something is to work, it just may – and even really intractable disputes can be resolved if you get the right squirrel with enough persistence (did I say squirrel? – I meant mediator)
  • Just because it’s described itself as squirrel-proof it doesn’t mean it is. Just because something is described as impossible for mediation, because the parties are too far apart, or too conflicted or the dispute is intractable – doesn’t mean it is. Indeed the more emotional and irrational the dispute the more mediation has to offer, as it deals with emotions and wades into the non-legal area of feelings and beliefs the law cannot solve
  • Check the assumptions. I thought that I had squirrel-proof bird-feeders – how wrong was that? There are so many possibilities we cannot see. It took the squirrels to find them out. I expect a mediator could have done it – if they were small and light and liked nuts enough. That rules me out, too fat!
  • Someone, somewhere once said that a prisoner thinks more on his release than his jailor does on keeping him captive. That is also the case with people in conflict, which is a type of prison. The answers to our mediations are often there right under everyone’s noses. Mediators as facilitators are well placed to spot these possibilities; it is what we are trained to do – to be open, alert and tuned in – a bit like squirrels. Just as everyone else is ready to give up, there is the mediator, bright eyed and bushy tailed . . . whizzing about resolving the dispute.

By the way, all advice regarding squirrels gratefully received.

Call us on 01908 231132 or Email: info@focus-mediation.co.uk for further information or to book a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) (11 Locations; Milton Keynes, Bedford, Broxbourne, Hemel Hempstead, London, Northampton, Oxford, Potters Bar, St Albans, Harrow and Watford).

Read more about family mediation at:  www.focus-mediation.co.uk 

Kids Easter Activities in Hertfordshire

  • Ware Spy Mission Treasure Trail – ‘Your super spies in training can flex their skills on the Ware Spy Mission Treasure Trail. They’ll have to prove their mettle by cracking codes and working as a team, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for a picnic!’ The Ware Treasure Trail starts at High Street, Ware, and Hertfordshire, SG12 9DJ, England. Full details HERE. Pricing: £6.99 per Trail (not per person).

Kids in Herts one

  • Geocachinghave you tried it? It’s an outdoor treasure hunt game using GPS-enabled devices like mobile phones. Download the app and explore countrywide. It’s fun, free & great exercise.
  • Hertford Museum – Easter Holiday Activities for Children. 10.30 am – 3.30 pm (last entry 3.00 pm), £1.50 per child. Week 1: Spring has sprung! Tuesday 3rd – Thursday 5th April. Make springy dancing daffodils and bouncy boxing hares with this new take on traditional spring crafts! Week 2: Keep Young and Beautiful: Loopy Locks fancy dress! – Tuesday 10th – Thursday 12th April. Celebrate the closing of our Keep Young and Beautiful exhibition with this Easter Holiday Activity. Come and create your own wearable wigs from Mohawks to bobs to bouncy curls. Add some dazzle to your look with some glammed up glasses! FREE spaces available for families on a lower income.
  • Hertford Yarn Bombers are back & have teamed up with Hertford Town Council for a special knitted Easter egg hunt. Visit the Hertford Town & Tourist Information Centre, The Wash, SG14 1PX between Saturday, March 31 until Saturday, April 14. Claim your free Easter egg by finding a minimum of 12 out of 18 bunnies hiding in shops and businesses around the town. Pick up your Easter egg hunt map at Hertford Town and Tourist Information Centre.

Kids in Herts two

Call us on 01908 231132 or Email: info@focus-mediation.co.uk for further information or to book a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) (11 Locations; Milton Keynes, Bedford, Broxbourne, Hemel Hempstead, London, Northampton, Oxford, Potters Bar, St Albans, Harrow and Watford).

Read more about family mediation at:  www.focus-mediation.co.uk